GoT Recap–The Broken Man a/k/a You Ain’t Nothing But a Hound Dog

GoT had some surprises for us this week. However, these surprises were smaller in scale compared some other reveals the show had for us earlier in the season. The episode wasn’t a Hodor or Jon Snow coming back from the dead level disclosure, but still moved the season ahead and set up the chess board for the final triplet of episodes yet to come. Let’s talk about it.

The episode opens on a scene not found in many GoT episodes: an idyllic, verdant valley. Holy colors, show! I love the way television and movies can communicate moods and story tone with different colors and lighting. #collegefilmcourse. Some people are building a sort of structure with a steeple. Everyone is, dare I say it, happy. Everyone except one person: The Hound! He’s not dead after all. It is implied (and explained in more detail here) that the Hound was found on death’s door and nursed back to health by a group of priests from the Faith of the Seven. Anyway, the Hound is just chopping some wood while the main priest (the guy from Deadwood) gives the Hound shit for being beat up by a woman. Ok, that is a) sexist and b) Brienne is not just any woman. She is totally badass, Xena and She-ra way before those two were even a thing. Although the Hound has joined up with the septons of the seven, I don’t think he’ll go pacifist on us any time soon. Some members of the Brotherhood Without Banners show up and kill everyone in the camp while the Hound is off chopping more wood. The Hound hears the screams one minute too late. He surveys the damage, and then grabs his ax and stalks off. Perhaps the Hound will get some revenge on the Brotherhood/basically everyone else on this damn show?

The Hound is not the only person immersed in the Faith of the Seven. At Kings Landing, Margery is released from jail. She’s not the same Margery as before. She’s wearing plain clothes (and a weak-ass crown, imo) and praying all pious-like. The Sparrow visits her and they get to talking. It seems she is all up in this Faith of the Seven business. The Sparrow is concerned because Margery and Tommen haven’t boned since she was released from jail. They need an heir and a spare, after all. She demurs. The Sparrow says the two love birds better get busy. Margery wouldn’t want anything to happen to her grandma, would she? What. A. Dick!

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I’m pretty sure G-Ma Tyrell could beat you up, you shoeless zealot (to borrow a line from last night’s episode).

After her talk with Sparrow Dickface, Margery has a chat with her Grandma. The septa who yelled “Shame!” at Cersei last season is in the room as well and is basically Margery’s shadow. This ruffles G-Mas’ feathers, but Margery can’t do anything about it. G-Ma wants Margery to return to High Garden, away from this religious coup of the government. Margery says she is staying. It seems like she is totally converted to this High Sparrow madness.Then she surreptitiously slips a note to G-Ma. Satisfied, G-Ma leaves. Margery then asks the septa if they should pray. Ooooo, girl is playing long game. I like it.

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We see G-Ma open Margery’s note a bit later. It’s a drawing of a rose-looking flower. Is it just me or did the petals seem to be drawn like a maze? Color me intrigued.

It’s time for the “Who Cares?” portion of the recap. It’s everyone’s favorite.

  • Theon and Yabbadabba are still on the run from Uncle Triton. Theon’s having a tough time because they are in a brothel and Theon has no junk. Yabba makes fun of him for it. Low blow, Yabba. Low blow. Theon is definitely a broken man. Yabba wants to make a pact with Dani. In the end, Theon decides to stick with Yabba for all this. Btw, did this convo really need to take place in a brothel? Did it add any substance to the scene? The answer is no. This scene was only included for the weekly tits quota.
  • Jamie and Bronn (hey, welcome back!) go deal with Blackfish Tully and Riverrun. The Freys are already there, being inbred basset hound-looking dumbfucks. basset.jpg

Sorry basset hounds. You are so much cuter than the Freys. Blackfish DGAF that everyone is there. This part was “meh”, but Bronn is back, so that’s cool!

Arya made it out of the “Who Cares?” section this week, but just barely. She books passage out of Bravos, but then is stabbed by Not-Debbie-Harry-Blondie and thrown in the river. She emerges, and then wanders the streets, trying to stanch the blood oozing from her belly. Hopefully she survives and becomes interesting.

The other Stark kids are having a hard time too. They’re not in danger of dying from stab wounds (at this point), but they might be dead if they can’t make solid allegiances to fight the Boltons. They have the support of the Wildlings…and that’s about it. Feisty Lyanna from Bear Island promises a whopping 62 men. House Glover says “no dice” because the Boltons helped them take back their castle and because Robb Stark took up with some “whore”, thus betraying House Glover. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, everyone on this show would be so much better off if they didn’t care so much about other people’s damn sex lives! Things look dire for the Starks. Interestingly, there is a shot of Sansa writing a letter to someone with the Stark wax seal, but we can’t see what she wrote or to whom. I can’t stand it when shows do this! I need to know!

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Histrionics at its best.

What did Sansa’s letter say? Will the Starks amass more allies? Will Arya survive? Where is the Hound going? Was Margery’s flower a maze or something else? That’s all for this week, I’m off to chop firewood endlessly.

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